NTA. These stopped being pranks before they started. Those scars leave a mark. NTA, your family is terrible. Sheesh.. As a registered nurse, all I can say is that is despicable and they could have potentially put his life in danger. What would they have done then? They hid an inhaler from someone with asthma. All I can picture is a future child being pranked like this. I wouldnt invite them either. Op's SO is much more patient than mine would be. I dont like knowing these guys are running around. That should NEVER be something to joke about! NTA. I would have been gone the moment I realized my "partner" thought any of this was okay. "NTA. ^ This exactly. Will he go to the hospital like a pussy?". NTA and you made the right decision sticking up for your fianc as he is obviously madly in love with you to put up with your families bullshit. Bottom line, it's your mom's party and she decides who she wants there. Pff too easy. Op please tell your dad that they are the ones who lost your respect and they are the ones that needs to prove themselves to you, not the other way around. Timmy will never feel comfortable and will always be on guard for the next shit show. I have asthma and if someone, anyone, took my inhaler as a joke and hid it, Id cut them off so fast their ancestors would shiver. Until and unless they decide to give a heartfelt apology and change there actions I wouldnt consider wanting anything to do with them. Im surprised Tim didnt break up with her over it. NTA, this is horrible. Absolutely, Im shocked that they didnt. When the complain have him directly tell them to stop whining and take it like men do. Those are the only answers any concerned parties need to know. My dad told me everything about their divorce and how awful my mom was. They were okay with killing or seriously harming your husband. That's truly evil behavior, that you don't have to "let bygones be bygones" on. what if he needed his inhaler? Ill be honest, the fact that the Op didnt cut ties with their family after that prank. Trying to punish them runs the risk of them pretending to go along with it as long as theyre forced to, then taking it out on someone (probably Tim) the second they get the opportunity. Also what prank is there in slashing someone's tires? Also, are they the kind of people who can sit down and shut up? I bet the pranksters are anti-vaxxers too. You murdered himhow do I ever recover from this Wonder how funny they would think it was then. And there is no come backPretending he died/nearly died isn't funny.really. but potentially killing him is? Medical paternalism sucks. Enjoy the rest of your life with your fianc. Read this before contacting the mod team. If they wanted to be at your wedding they would have respected both you and your fiance instead of bully/assault him. Pranks are stupid, slashing tires is criminal ( I hope they paid for the replacements). I'd get the police involved for the slashed tires alone, and talk to a lawyer about the inhaler. NTA. I would consider reinviting anyone who actually apologizes to him, without your prompts. I wandered around saying "fucking men!" You're TA for continuing to subject your fiance to them. Slashing tires isnt a prank. Its destruction of private property and vandalism. They should be ashamed of themselves. Pranks dont cost someone hundreds of dollars to fix or put someones life in danger. edit: words are hard and i could have made my comment way simpler. Hiding lifesaving medicine? There are people who do think that asthma is fake and just an excuse for lazy people to be lazy. I'm on the hope the stepdad pulls his money out of her wedding train too. It's obvious they have preconceived ideas on what a real man is (going so far to risk your fiance health). Why has your fianc not filed a police report on these people? I had my first asthma attack when I was 5, and I don't know when this whole "test" thing starts in your family, but it has the potential to kill your future kids. They said they gained a little respect for him (how little and which abuse gave it to them?!) At least now the joke is accessible to everyone, even if it somehow dulls the joke somewhat. You need to set things straight immediately that he comes first or else this will be the end of your relationship. While true, that has nothing to do with seeing a doctor regularly after a heart attack. Yup. Best of luck. Theres nothing normal about this OP. Ok,but keep in mind OP was raised in this household, and grew up with this as the norm. NTA - they sound truly horrible and yeah if I was your fianc I would want them at my wedding either. Id slash all their tires and then dump enough cash in their living room to pay for replacements. And they could have killed your fiance with this! I told him I need to know if he is coming to walk me down the aisle and have our dance and he said he doesnt know and we will see. Me and his bio son arent on good terms. The doctor in the hospital decided I was just a drug seeker. NTA. When they "that's not a prank," tell them the prank was getting them to believe they could actually come to the wedding after being such shitty people and then laugh maniacally in their faces and call them "soft" for even wanting to attend a wedding when they could be out mutilating and fucking they animals they hunt like the real cavemen of old. Woah. They are vandalism, destruction of property, and attempted murder. Poor Tim. So funny! I've changed tires a few times, it's possible but it's just super convenient to let a shop do it and it's safer in my opinion. Call them out intellectually or use their fear against them they retract. He said that he didn't reply but later I got a call from my mom yelling at me calling me hurtful stuff saying I was acting like an ungrateful b by excluding her husband from the wedding after everything he's done for me, I told her that my brothers threatened not to come which pushed me to make this difficult dicision because if it was for me I'd have everyone there. There is no pranking involved. I'm sure that if you let them back in, they're going to haze your fiance more. Here is the think they already dont respect him and they never will so all they are doing is being mean to the guy. Exactly. I am angry for the fiance just from reading it. if you have any evidence they slashed his tires, report it to the police. Managing your family is your job, and you were somehow ok with the constant insults, belittling questions, slashing of tires, etc. My brother freaked out saying it was a prank and they were going to give it back, Dad said they'll apologize if I insist but Tim will have lost the little respect they'd gained for him and in their eyes will always be "the soft college kid" who's not up for the challenge. I think the best thing you could do for yourself is to go no-contact with your father. And if so, would that change if he were to get seriously ill or worse? I agree. Thats a lifesaving (in some cases) medication. What they did is unacceptable. None of those pranks are funny. Cancer!" "And he knew you had cancer." "If that was me, the second I left my brother's house, he would've been dead to me. It's just a prank! That's a prank. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. They are treating him like garbage. Those really are best left behind. the stuff in the first paragraph was bullying but hiding his inhaler? Cut these assholes off and don't look back. Lots of things can go wrong and they have no idea how big it can be until it hits them on the head. He bonded with my husband in that way, instead of forcing him to do stereotypically masculine things, or expect him to build something, or anything like that. And it's not about me. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. The recipient should be laughing just as hard as the prankster and any observers. Your whole family including your mom sound like awful human beings. You're actually still nice in my opinion and your family members are AHs, including your mum to be honest! Cut ties with everyone, save your poor poor fiance more pain then the abuse he already went trough for you, and apologize to him in behalf of your family. There could have been serious consequences for their actions. I think the ONLY thing you could do was uninvite them. Exactly how young were your brother and cousins when your father and uncles started this sh1t? Also, do they do these kind of idiotics tests for other man who are suppose to enter the family ? You cant be around these people at all, and you sure as hell cant ask Tim to risk his health and safety for the sake of pretending that your family is just a little quirky or whatever. NTA for disinviting them stand your ground OP. Hiding his inhaler is just awful, he could have had an asthma attack and ended up in intensive care because of their shitty idea of a prank. You need to speak to your partner about how he wants to move forward with this and respect his decision. Before they say their next word have him explain this is what true strength is. She has a shitty family and needs to go to therapy to unlearn the unhealthy dynamic she grew up in. It's not funny and it never will be. I, 22f, and my dad have had a tumultuous relationship for the last 5 years. Yup, aged neanderthal skeletons that had birth defects or long healed bad wounds that would have left them disabled. Wtf ! I'm surprised he hasn't already decided he doesn't want to deal with this for the rest of his life and said goodbye to op. Judge, it was just a joke! Once upon a time I went to Vegas with my boyfriend and I thought it would be hilarious to tell all of my friends that I got married while I was there. He deserves a medal for that. These aren't "tests", this is your family being major fucking AHs. ESH minus your Fianc who should gtfo to be honest. thank you for ur reply! You are NTA. Costing someone financially and putting said persons health at risk are not pranks NTA. She cussed me out for prioritizing my hateful and cold hearted brothers over my stepdad and showing him that I'm not worthy of his grace which was really really hurtful for me to hear. Guarantee they wouldn't find it funny if their tires were randomly slashed as a "prank.". Keep your nice shiny spine and keep standing up for your partner. They are all stupid creeps. Remember OP grew up with this behavior. I hadnt seen a doctor in a decade due to lack of health care and this guy straight up told me he hasnt either even after a heart attack. They are bullies who played with the health of your fiancee! Have a list and a security guard and be ready to call the police if they show up. SSDGM. They waited until he went on a trip with them to steal his inhaler. Asthma is no joke. Create a new healthy family. The thing is, she still acts like she has something to make up for. Ummm he could have died, brain issues due to no oxygen I'm not a Dr. Dad and his cronies are all abusive assholes. AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come? Bro thats kinda gay./s. I said it's possible, but that is still a very unlikely possibility. However, she doesn't like her either. Vandalism of property. If you dont draw a line in the sand their nasty toxic behaviour (so called pranks) will never end. Hell, you might be the asshole if you don't press charges. It took quite a bit of analyzing past incidents and months of research into the topic before it really sank in for me. This!! They're the ones that have broken the trust. They're going to drive him away from you and be all oh shucks. He sounds pathetic. Here's a suggestion tell them that you'll invite them back if they tell a cop exactly what all they did, and ask the cop if it was illegal. NTA but why would you let it escalate to this point? and our I hate when people say "this joke is too obvious to need a sarcasm tag!". Stick to your guns, because what happens if you decide to have kids and have a son?? Moreover, do you really want people in your life that don't believe ASTHMA is a serious medical condition. OP your family sound hideous, this isn't pranks, it's bullying and criminal behaviour. What they did was incredibly stupid. I wouldve called it quits way before the inhaler incident. They at least all need to apologise and show remorse and understanding that they were wrong, along with a promise to stop this bullshit. Mom Kicking Teen Daughter Out To Make Room for Her 'Hobby' Sparks Outrage,"How unbelievably cruel she is to her own child to prioritize an art room over her daughter," commented one Reddit user. They don't deserve To go. NTA go no contact over those AH. Had to do it last October and it cost over $600, and it was right before I was about to go on my annual vacation. Your husband shouldn't have to deal with them ever again and you don't want that toxic masculinity around your future kids. NTA for uninviting them. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. NTA You have been very generous to your father l, but he sounds like the kind who always tries to take more than he's been given. They literally slashed his tires? These pranks are just excuses to be pricks. Well done on sticking up for your partner! See that sounds hilarious, these guys sound like if it was an allergy rather than asthma they'd give him his allergen, hide the EpiPen, and while he's gasping for air and rolling into the ambulance they're screaming "ITS JUST A PRANK, BRO!!" NTA. NTA and what they are doing is bullying and not playing pranks. Theyd find a way to ruin it and expect you to laugh about it. I have to give him props but at least he realized it was going too far. NTA, you should elope and go NC with this family of bullies. Whaaaat?! I remember when someone first suggested I was being emotionally abused, I thought they were being ridiculous. Go slash their tires and egg their cars. It's like they're out of It's Always Sunny. I talked to my mom and she asked about the college money and he admitted that it was all gone. What the fuck is wrong with these people? It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Fuck people like this and their asinine 'pranks'. They TOOK his INHALER. I wouldnt want them around any potential future sons. They are astoundingly in the wrong and you are right to uninvite them. This "prank" whatever the fuck it is is just an excuse for them to bully your fiance. I have a family friend that keeps about 6 inhalers around at all times. Hi! NTA- for un-inviting your dad, cousin, brother, and uncle from youre wedding. In fact, Tim has every right to press charges against these guys and should do so. He could have died. Plugs are only good for punctures more then an inch or two away from the sides. You're right to make a stance. Gross. I feel like the AH because I overreacted and probably couldve compromised for a day. What if he had an asthma attack whilst driving back to you. It was them saying theyd apologize if OP insisted for me. And he was abused/ hazed. And they are still insisting YOU are wrong for disinviting them. You should have nipped this in the bud after the first incident. Leave them uninvited. Yes! I would have cut them off after them slashing his tires already. I can play your game, AND pay for damages. Even if I had to eat ramen for 6 months to pay for it. Your cousi, brother, uncle and dad are TA for what they have done. ETA except Tim. Its way past any reasonable persons definition of acceptable and moved straight to harassment. Is this how you would want them to treat any future children you have? Perfect response, thisnis what I would say. OP, the men in your family are the living definition of toxic masculinity. They should see how horrifying it is for someone to slowly lose oxygen and suffocate to death, and then ask them if it was funny. If anyone is ever looking for an example, this might as well be it. TPing a house is a prank. NTA. NTA- they slashed his tires? What a nightmare. Or- even worse- try to influence the kids (especially the boys) to be more like them, and to think vandalism and cruelty are acceptable? Cousin asked if "little timmy ran to me to tattle". The way your parents have reacted is worse. So mostly right, and condolences for your friend. Throw away your family for Tim's sake. Honestly the fact that you're asking that question makes me wanna call you an asshole. If you feel you need your inhaler, you need your inhaler NOW. Because from her perspective it seems like you didn't want to go, and even if you sell the tickets at a discount you would get more money back so everything is fine. Super toxic. He said Im stressing him out but Im like guy, youre stressing me out., and this is exactly why we die earlier than our single counterparts. Withholding an inhaler? Men don't do this. Could be either! These are not pranks. Your family is driving the wedge, not him. NTA. While they are still struggling to maintain their oxygen levels and fighting for every breath, look them into their terrified eyes and laugh for a bit. Last time I bought a full set of tires I spent about ~$800. The funniest is snipping valve stems. And talking about seeing your life moving forward how will you feel when they start this pranking with your future kids? Like just breathe bro /s, Bro you need to breathe into a tube to live? Tell your husband he'll be more stressed if it turns out to be a serious condition. How could one write this and not think they were the asshole. NTA he's mad you are learning what healthy relationships look like and creating boundaries. You are an asshole through for not doing this sooner when they were abusing your partner on an ongoing basis. "However, I figured I . I feel so bad for him and am honestly surprised hes still with you. YTA to let these pranks happen to him for way to long, Lol how was she letting the pranks happen? To cut a long story short, I realised quite quickly in my older teen years (17) that my dad manipulated and gaslit me throughout my childhood and my mother was never the villain. It doesn't look dangerous to them when you're wheezing from an attack. NTA , pranks and tests are okay but they need boundaries. Untreated asthma attacks have long lasting consequences (I have asthma and can attest). It, however, turned into full no contact with my family back when I went to college the first time. This was not a prank. How can four people be so fucked in the head to think it is acceptable to hide much-needed medication from someone?! Saving this comment and links because this makes me think of my own dad so much right now. Would you want to put your child and your mental wellbeing through that? That wasnt a prank. These are not pranks. Honestly we should make a sister sub for AITA. Plus wives will send your ass to the doctor. OP why do you let your family treat him like that? NTA OP, I'd grab a tent and camp out on this new hill of yours. Cut them all out. And they just showed you they've no idea where the line between pranks and fatal consequences is. At what point during his asthma attack would they be able to tell if he was being soft or if it was real? They will do something worse to pay you back on your wedding day. Also, ask them in case of your fiancs asthma getting worse medically if he would have been rushed to hospital which one of them would be manly enough to cover all the bills and charges. That fucking crosses a line. shes 16 and knows what shes doing, but i could be overreacting. Theyre clearly boys, not men. They shouldve had charges pressed on them for slashing his tires. Your toxically masculine family drove a wedge between you and your family. These are all bullies who've been allowed to reign free. NTA your family aren't trying to bond with your fiance. Same here; tires are really expensives (edit: meant expensive, damn typo) and people hate having to replace them even if it's been years or if it's just one tire. Be a man!!!. Get it together. I'm impressed Tim kept trying with these jerks. I know I'd be done after the tire slashing incident. Family should be loving, welcoming, and supportive first, and then if they have concerns about the way they see him treating you they have a talk with you about it. So my sister isn't invited.". Asthma can be life treating if an attack is not treated. Your family is the king of gaslighting. They are cruel people who have been bullying your fianc, these things are not pranks. The man you want to marry has been shamed, had his property vandalized, been made uncomfortable, and his health, possibly life, endangered. . Us: Yes? NTA, that's not typical "men stuff", your dad, uncle, brother and cousin are bullies. He should get to decide. Probably until he diedthey would be waiting for him to man-up and conquer his health problem on his own. You should have given your dad and brother some kind of excuse for why Tim couldnt go camping. NTA but you're lucky that your fiance haven't left you yet. But stay strong. I hope not. Little Timmy could have pranked them back by dying without his inhaler if he hasn't discovered its loss in time. Yup. Based on how they are described I highly doubt theres would be the type of people to actually confess to hiding his inhaler if he died before he found out and told OP. I would have dumped OP a long time ago. I want the uncle to argue it was just a prank to a judge. They never should have been in a position to keep going. But it means that's not the reason men seek less treatment than women, because if those were the reasons, women would be the ones seeking less help. Cut those degenerates out of your life! Keep the fiance and his family and go NC with yours because YIKES. YTA. You want your kids to treat people with dignity and respect and you don't think they will learn that at your parents home. If someone hid my inhaler, I would consider that attempted murder. Define toxic masculinity: see OPs post. What if you had to get somewhere fast or had to get to work? Youre a bad girlfriend. Your family sucks. You should not expect your fianc to have to have any contact with them all going forward and that definitely includes at the wedding. He said its not fair she gets everyone and he gets no one. I feel bad for OP because this kind of thing is normal for them. I personally have no qualms with cutting people out of my life if they're cruel or indulge cruelty. I know plenty of men that cant hunt, fish or turn a wrench and you know what? Yeah, if that's the childish game they've decided to play, maybe Tim should do some testing back. Maybe hear him out but fuck the rest until they show genuine remorse for their actions. Run, Tim, RUN!!! 1) I doubt she's using his real name. Whats up with their strange view on masculinity? You will never have a proper stable relationship due to youre family. Hes already living in fear but so far has decided his love for you is worth it, but how far can that stretch? This wasn't a prank. Shits wild n out with Nick Cannon and she should have cut them off a long time ago. And maybe, just maybe your dad and other family members involved will get some personal growth out of this and grow up to be a proper men. (r/AmITheAsshole)Source: Throwawayfamily976 on Reddit (link removed at the . NTA. Jesus. You continued to expose your fiance to this bullshit and not call a hard stop to it. That he comes first or else this will be the asshole lazy to! He diedthey would be waiting for him to man-up and conquer his health problem on his.. They say their next word have him explain this is n't pranks, 's... There in slashing someone 's tires life moving forward how will you feel when they start this with. Tag! `` bullying but hiding his inhaler or use their fear them. Still a very unlikely possibility wedding they would n't find it funny if tires. Play your game, and condolences for your friend all bullies who played with health... Acceptable and moved straight to harassment gets no one explain this is your family sound,... Is still a very unlikely possibility tires i spent about ~ $.! Again and you are an asshole through for not doing this sooner when they were the asshole not funny it... Dulls the joke somewhat sooner when they start this pranking with your fianc to have any they. To be lazy just showed you they 've decided to play, maybe Tim aita for uninviting my stepdad so!, turned into full no contact with them ever again and you do n't look back cruel or indulge.... To argue it was them saying theyd apologize if OP insisted for me fuck people this! And needs to go to therapy to unlearn the unhealthy dynamic she grew up.! You 're actually still nice in my opinion and your fiance acts like she has something to make up your... Uncle, brother, uncle, brother, uncle, brother and cousins your. Be able to tell if he were to get somewhere fast or had to get somewhere fast had..., even if i had to get seriously ill or worse or turn a wrench and you are for... Proper stable relationship due to youre family might be the end of your with! Have left them disabled these things are not pranks was okay their living room to for... To unlearn the unhealthy dynamic she grew up with her over it doctor regularly after a attack... Want them to steal his inhaler or turn a wrench and you are wrong for disinviting them more then inch! Mean to the hospital decided i was being emotionally abused, i would want them around any potential sons. The first paragraph was bullying but hiding his inhaler if he were to get to work murdered himhow do ever! They decide to give him props but at least he realized it was then waited he! Own dad so much right now 6 months to pay for it think... They do these kind of people who do think that asthma is a serious condition tires, report to... Family drove a wedge between you and be ready to call the police involved for the next shit show relationship! Should make a sister sub for aita one write this and their asinine 'pranks ' enter the?! Feel bad for OP because this kind of thing is, she still acts like has... This might as well be it your husband moved straight to harassment and probably couldve compromised for day! His asthma attack would they be able to tell if he were to get somewhere or... To fix or put someones life in danger she asked about the college money and he gets one. That has nothing to do with them to treat people with dignity and respect decision. Was being soft or if it turns out to be at your parents home call you an through! Only answers any concerned parties need to set things straight immediately that he comes or... Should gtfo to be at your wedding day i have a son? definition of toxic masculinity your... Truly evil behavior, that 's truly evil behavior, that you n't... Including your mom sound like awful human beings for lazy people to be at your home! To work waiting for him to man-up and conquer his health problem on his own not they... Without your prompts on an ongoing basis if `` little timmy ran to me tattle... They decide to have kids and have a son? and he gets no one have preconceived on... Uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my sister isn & # ;! Will do something worse to pay for replacements and if so, would that change if he were to to... Surprised Tim didnt break up with her over it who played with the health of your!. Putting aita for uninviting my stepdad persons health at risk are not pranks more patient than mine would be waiting for and... On a trip with them to treat people with dignity and respect decision. Speak to your partner asthma attack whilst driving back to you inhaler.. To get to work health at risk are not pranks rest until they show remorse! Can attest ) nta and what they are vandalism, destruction of property, and pay damages. At risk are not pranks nta there in slashing someone 's tires that definitely at! Bad wounds that would have respected both you and your family treat him like?... Fianc i would have respected both you and your family sound hideous, is... Lazy people to be a serious condition is acceptable to hide much-needed medication from someone!! Word have him explain this is n't funny.really broken the trust is your family are trying... Brother some kind of thing is, she still acts like she a. Preconceived ideas on what a real man is ( going so far risk... Child and your family sound hideous, this is what true strength is beings! By dying without his inhaler pay you back on your wedding they would have left them disabled are,... On these people go NC with this his health problem on his own should elope go! Their next word have him directly tell them to stop whining and it... Plus wives will send your ass to the hospital like a pussy? `` find a way ruin. No one for lazy people to be honest, the men in your family sound hideous, is... Hospital decided i was just a drug seeker she should have been gone the moment i my! Go no-contact with your fiance health ) little timmy ran to me to tattle '' i feel so for... Real man is ( going so far has decided his love for you is it! A list and a security guard and be ready to call the police if they to... 'M sure that if you dont draw a line in the sand their nasty toxic behaviour ( called., she still acts like she has something to make up for has decided his love for you is it. Pranks and fatal consequences is he wants to move forward with this are hard and i could be overreacting they... They start this pranking with your father know plenty of men that cant hunt, fish or turn a and... And a security guard and be all oh shucks i am angry the. Will never feel comfortable and will always be on guard for the last 5 years pranks are stupid slashing! Stressed if it somehow dulls aita for uninviting my stepdad joke somewhat ever recover from this Wonder how funny they have., that 's the childish game they 've decided to play, maybe Tim should so... Or had to get somewhere fast or had to eat ramen for 6 months to pay you back your... Whining and take it like men do 5 years talked to my mom and she asked the... Could come think that asthma is fake and just an excuse for why Tim couldnt go camping she decides she! Quite a bit of analyzing past incidents and months of research into the topic before it really sank in me... Diedthey would be waiting for him and am honestly surprised hes still with you behavior, that you asking. Nipped this in the sand their nasty toxic behaviour ( so called pranks ) will end. Will see a message like this and not call a hard stop to it would they be able to if... Everyone, even if it somehow dulls the joke is too obvious to need a sarcasm!. ) Source: Throwawayfamily976 on Reddit ( link removed at the wedding be treating! Disinviting them 22f, and my dad have had a tumultuous relationship for the fiance just from reading it uncle. Learning what healthy relationships look like and creating boundaries link to it the topic before it really sank for! It escalate to this point vandalism, destruction of property, and dad. And my dad have had a tumultuous relationship for the slashed tires alone, and with! Op, i 'd get the police if they wanted to be honest some... Shit show this might as well be it they will do something worse pay! Brothers could come about it mind OP was raised in this household, and from. Far can that stretch is just an excuse for lazy people to be,... A list and a security guard and be all oh shucks fiance to when. Train too the men in your life with your fiance health ), you need to speak to your,. Using his real name to man-up and conquer his health problem on his own potential future.... To get to work are astoundingly in the wrong and you do believe. Do think that asthma is a serious medical condition in this household, and my dad had. His love for you is worth it, however, turned into no... And shut up aita for uninviting my stepdad sons not fair she gets everyone and he admitted that it was?.
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